Hi Reader -
I learned a new term this past week that felt like a revelation on my life.
But before I tell you what it is, I want to give you a quick quiz — just 5 yes-or-no questions — so you can see if you’ve experienced this too.
Ready? Ok.
🧠 Emotions Quiz:
Just answer yes or no:
Do you feel pressure to hold it all together — to seem peaceful, grateful, or “okay” — even when your inner world is anything but? Do you judge yourself for how you feel and try to override it with gratitude or perspective? Do you worry that your emotions are “too much” for others — that you'll be misunderstood, dismissed, or seen as dramatic? Do you feel like having "negative" emotions means you're being ungrateful, unspiritual, or not trusting enough? Do you feel like you should be more emotionally evolved by now — like you “shouldn’t still be struggling with this”?
If you said yes to 3 or more, you’re definitely not alone.
Apparently, you — like me — may be carrying something called emotional perfectionism .
Yes, it’s a real thing.
And no, it’s not about being perfect.
It’s about believing your emotions should be.
Or at least perfectly managed, polished, or hidden — especially the inconvenient ones.
The Quiet Pressure
When I heard the term, it landed like someone had finally named a quiet pressure I’ve carried my entire life.
I can't even tell you how many times I’ve felt an unwanted emotion and immediately thought,
"You shouldn’t be feeling this!"
As if my emotions were some kind of moral failure.
As if feeling sadness, anger, or fear meant something was wrong with me.
One thing I hear often when I’m coaching people is:
“I’m a terrible person for feeling this way…”
We can be so quick to judge our emotions — and even more so, to identify with them .
And when we do that, we suffer.
But here’s the truth:
The emotion itself is just energy — a rush of chemicals and sensations in the body.
And according to research, most emotions pass within 90 seconds — if we don’t keep recycling them with judging thoughts.
If you want to keep feeling it?
Keep judging it.
If you want it to process?
Drop the story and feel it fully in your body.
(Most times, I’ve found it doesn’t even take the full 90 seconds.)
Let’s Practice This Together
If you're ready to let go of emotional perfectionism, I’d love to invite you to my next breathwork session: Accessing Joy
Not the kind of joy you have to earn or fake.
The kind that returns when you stop trying to feel the “right” things — and start feeling what’s real.
We’ll use breath to:
Quiet the inner judge Soften resistance Reconnect to the part of you that’s already whole… and already worthy of joy
[REGISTER HERE]
all the emotions.
brooke
P.S. Can’t make it live? You’ll get the replay for 21 days — but if you can be there in the moment, the shift runs deeper. I’d love to hold space for you.
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